Conversation hearts.
One said 'LOVE ME' and the other said 'FOREVER' ...
He held them up for me to see, I said yes please and then he put them together and ate them.
What is he doing to me?
Oh Lord, I am in big trouble here.
I love him so much and want to be with him forever sooo bad :(


Please, help me ...

I guess.
He 'officially' did it yesterday and we talked and cried (ya, both of us) and then watched friends and ate crappy pizza and then slept next to each other.

I have no idea what's happening now.

His mom called this morning and she bought us lunch. She kept asking about getting married and why hadn't he proposed and I tried to act nonchalant. He apologized for it, just to me, twice. His mom wants the four of us (her, Tiff, Danny and I) to go to Jackpot for a night in a couple weeks, just for fun. Danny said it's okay, he wants me to go, which is good cause I really wanna go too ... But I'm not sure if he'll tell them or not. I mean, they like me but if Danny tells them that he's just not in love with me anymore, they might change their minds. Because Danny's mom is all about the importance of loving each other. She might stick up for me now and call me a sweet girl and whatnot but I see her flipping a complete 180 when she finds out that he doesn't really love me, she won't even care about me.

And let's not even think about how my parents are gonna react. Or my friends.

I want it to be a secret. At least until he leaves. Is that too much to ask?

I have asked that way too much in the last 18 hours ...

No idea what's happening, but not getting my hopes up,
Becka

There for a bit, we were good, there was love ... and then I guess I just had to say something.

And then we had a very similar conversation in the blackness of a 2am bedroom. It was awful and I didn't cry (but only because I tried so hard not to, it just doesn't help anything) ... and it even trailed on a little into today. At one point, I thought he was going to say something terrible, so I pressed play on the DVD we had been watching and focused on how funny it was.

... and I've been holding my breath ever since. He's said love a few times, and we've been smiling and we even showered together

Since the last time, in one of his txts he told me that he never actually changed his mind. Is that still true now?

I almost want to tell him to just take the ring back, relieve the pressure, and go get it again when he actually wants to.

But as of this moment, I feel like the best thing to do is to ignore it, not talk about it and be happy.

He doesn't want us to have to try to be happy and he says he's not happy and he doesn't want me to fix anything and he doesn't think we'll change.

I just want him to remember how much he loves me and that he wants to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me.

And as much as I really want to talk (cry) to someone (mom or beth) I feel like it will be better to keep this between us for now and focus on looking past it and being happy ... and that will be easier if I ignore it completely, never get angry and focus on just how much I love him and want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him ... and all the little stupid things that never matter in the first place will melt away.

Oh God, please help me love him enough to make him happy
Becka